5 Movies that Paul Dano Gets Beaten Up In
We will proceed with this list using the metric of “Paul Pummels,” with 1 P.P. being the least and 5 P.P. being the most, taking into account the intensity and frequency of each beating.
Gigantic (2008, dir. Matt Aselton)
3 Paul Pummels
Why did I watch this movie? Dano is a mattress salesman who dates Zooey Deschanel and longs for but one thing—to adopt a Chinese baby. Also, he is haunted by the constant threat of a homeless man appearing out of nowhere to beat the living daylights out of him. From what I remember, pummelings of this nature only happen something like two or three times in the film’s entire 138 minute runtime, which of course tells you that they should’ve happened more often—especially since these beatdowns were apparently meant to symbolize something. What, you ask? Maybe the dread of never being good enough to adopt a Chinese baby. Or keep Zooey Deschanel happy for longer than 500 days. Whatever the reason for these pummels, they were bizarre, but not enough to be interesting.
Prisoners (2013, dir. Denis Villeneuve)
4.5 Paul Pummels
Paul Dano’s character, Alex Jones, was written into this film with the express purpose of getting tortured and beaten-up beyond recognition, most notably in a well-cited and emotionally-dense scene involving Hugh Jackman, a sink, and a hammer. You might’ve seen it in a “Top 5 Male Acting Performances of All Time” compilation—Dano is the one getting smacked around and screamed at. This list wouldn’t be complete without poor Alex.
The Batman (2022, dir. Matt Reeves)
2.5 Paul Pummels
What follows will most likely be a weak argument involving a rather liberal interpretation of the phrase “beaten up” that is, noticeably, an excuse to talk about Matt Reeves’ Batman film when and wherever possible. I will concede that the most physical violence Paul Dano’s Riddler sees the whole movie is when he gets shoved against a diner counter. Also, Batman slams his fist against a glass screen in a way that, if the screen hadn’t been there, probably would’ve landed on and HURT The Riddler (in this case, it's the intention that counts). But hear me out—the members of his fan cult that do get utterly pummeled by Batman’s Batfists in the film’s third act do so under The Riddler’s moniker, costume and mission. Therefore, they are an extension of himself—so, through them, Dano’s character gets a symbolic yet thorough Bat Beating.
Little Miss Sunshine (2006, dir. Valerie Faris, Jonathan Dayton)
3.5 Paul Pummels
Angsty and disillusioned teen Dwayne Hoover (Dano) never once has a finger laid on his being the whole film—his sanity, though, does not emerge nearly as unscathed. His hopes, dreams, aspirations, precipitous faith in humanity, all of it, are at once crushed in a seemingly-harmless self-discovery that shapes the wince-worthy climax of this film. Not a physical beating, no, but an emblematic one that is too real in a way that it has a far larger capacity to touch the audience than some of the others on this list might. A pummeling of the soul.
There Will Be Blood (2007, dir. Paul Thomas Anderson)
5 Paul Pummels
Or, alternatively, “There Will be Paul Abuse.” If you know anything about this film you probably saw this coming. I can’t be completely certain that PTA’s director’s notes for Dano didn’t just have the words scream, shriek, snivel, beg, screech, sob, whine, and generally look/sound pathetic—and, on occasion, let three-time-Academy-Award-Winner and revered master of the screen, Sir Daniel Day Lewis drag you through the mud by the hair and chase you around a bowling alley while you cry, until he eventually whacks you over the head with a bowling pin so hard that you die instantly. Technically there is less actual “beating up” in There Will be Blood than there is in Prisoners—it's more so ritual humiliation via bitch-slapping and DDL’s masterful on-screen wrath. But what gives it my indisputable number one spot and a full 5 Paul Pummels is how extremely punchable Dano’s Eli Sunday is. So, when he finally does get the beating he deserves, it’s nothing short of euphoric.
These five are just a handful of many films in which Paul Gets Pummeled—such a trend forces us to wonder whether the actor is just extremely dedicated to and consistent with the characters he chooses, or if it’s coming from a deep, dark, masochistic part of his twisted mind. It is all very inconclusive, and mildly concerning. So, the question I will leave you with is this: will cinema benefit from more Paul Pummels, or should we give the man a break?