Sweethearts, Sour Situations
Long distance couples…no wait, long-distance period, oh how I loathe thee, speaking from experience. Not to say long distance doesn’t work, ’cause it does if “your love is strong enough.” I thoroughly believe that “distance only makes the heart grow fonder.” But LDR in college is a different type of hell. Maybe going through it with your best friend since HS will help…wait no, planning it together is better?
Sweethearts were released on Thanksgiving Day: a relatable tale for all college students going home for Thanksgiving and dealing with the realities of their high school relationships. Just in time for us Brown students. You would think Jamie and Ben would be excited to finally see their partners after two months of school, only they don’t seem as lovestruck in their relationships. “But we made that call because…we are in love…I guess,” Ben reminds Jamie as they ponder their college social life.
Phone sex before Medieval Literature at 8 am is not it. Two college freshmen, Ben (Nico Hiraga) and Jamie (Kiernan Shipka) struggle to break up with partners until they come up with an elaborate plan: Jamie will take Claire, his girlfriend, to a public place to avoid temptations of post-breakup sex, and Jamie will respectfully explain to Simon how unsatisfied and moved on she is feeling. Their desired outcome: is to freely enjoy their college lives without any tie-downs.
In planning the demise of their situations, Jamie and Ben face their own most prominent flaws: As confrontational as Jamie seems, she withholds her prejudices against women friends due to childhood trauma, and Ben allows everything to roll over him, afraid he would upset someone. Like who allows their roommate to essentially steal their car to go home, leaving you stranded on campus? Ben needs Jamie’s push to stand up for himself for once, even if it means getting real with his best friend about something life-changing.
Let Ben be a lesson to all LDR couples that boundaries are key to allowing both you and your partner to flourish in different environments. Don’t be like Claire, who after the 50th missed call to Ben called Ben’s parents, who then concernedly instigated a wellness check of their “missing son.”
Jamie, on the other hand, knows what she wants and is fairly capable, yet seems to be codependent on Ben emotionally. Granted, “best friends” can mean helping them out of sticky situations including being sexiled half-naked, yet Jamie seems to take comfort in the fact that Ben will always be there for her—until he decides to go to Copenhagen, which is 4,000+ miles away.
“I kept telling this girl how much I love Claire and honestly, I don’t even know if that’s true anymore,” Ben debriefs Jamie on their walk of shame. She relates, saying, “I mean, do I love Simon? I text him when I am uncomfortable or looking for a distraction.” Their relationships seemed to have fulfilled them for the time being until they didn’t. Knowing when to walk away and when to keep pushing is confusing but they’ve taken the chance.
Despite being categorized as a rom-com, the main characters don’t end up together; in fact, that was never the point at all. And that makes sense: there was no build-up of attraction to one another. Although they do kiss after their project break-ups, Ben remembers Harry Burns (from When Harry Met Sally): “I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” Their friendship could last a lifetime, and ultimately they need boundaries with each other.
Someone could be your favorite person in the world and you could spend every waking hour together and still not harbor any romantic feelings towards that person. This movie proved that to me. At first, I was a little skeptical because the attraction between a guy and a girl is common and often the first impression, but platonic love is fascinating. It can be hard to recognize at first whether an individual's feelings are not romantic.
In a world dominated by romantic ideals, authentic friendships can still take place. Although Jamie and Ben need each other’s reassurance to make their tough decisions, they also succeed beautifully as individuals when making amends with Claire and Simon. We see how Jamie and Ben unravel and trust in their friendship and in each other to support one another despite their sour reality. I wouldn’t recommend scheduling and planning your breakup with your best friend. But keep in mind that sometimes friends are fulfilling your life more than your relationships or relationships that are doing a disservice to you and them. Just don’t end up falling in love with your best friend and misinterpreting their undeniable support for love, but have a conversation about it.